marriage and divorce

   In ancient Mesopotamia marriage was viewed as a bond between a man and a woman designed primarily to produce children to perpetuate society and its traditions and civic order. Marriage, along with female fertility, was therefore seen as crucial to maintaining a viable society. Men seeking brides accordingly prized healthy young women, especially virgins. Although romantic love may have occasionally played a part in the choosing of mates, most marriages were arranged by relatives when the prospective brides were in their teens and the prospective grooms were about ten years older.

   Because considerations of love usually did not enter into the marriage equation, a marriage was viewed in large part as a business arrangement. As such, it required a legal contract to be binding. One of the statutes in Hammurabi's law code states, "If a man takes a wife and does not arrange a contract for her, that woman is not a wife." The groom and/or leading members of his family negotiated with the bride's family about the upcoming union, especially regarding money matters. The bride's father produced a dowry, which consisted of valuable items for her upkeep in the marriage. Typical dowry items included jewelry, cooking utensils and din-nerware, furniture, slaves, and bars of silver or other rare metals. If the wife died, the dowry legally became the property of the children produced in the marriage, although the husband could utilize the dowry items if he wanted to. The father of the groom often gave the bride's family money or valuables, called the bride-price. Both the dowry and the bride-price could be paid in installments until the first child was born, at which time payment in full was due. These and other details of the marriage contract were sometimes set down in writing, but verbal contracts were legal, too, and likely more common. The marriage was considered to officially begin at a feast held at the groom's father's house, although in some places and times it may not have been legal until the dowry and the bride-price were paid in full.

   Marriage was usually monogamous. However, it was legal for a man to have another wife under certain special conditions. For example, when a wife could not bear children, her husband was allowed either to take a second wife or to father children with a female servant. Nevertheless, he remained legally bound to continue honoring and supporting his wife until her natural death, and a servant could not claim equality with the wife. One of Hammurabi's laws provided that if the servant "bears children and afterwards claims equal rank with her mistress," the wife "may not sell her," but "may reduce her to bondage and count her among the slaves."

   Divorce was legal under a few circumstances, including abuse by the husband, the wife's infertility, or adultery on the part of the wife. Another of Hammurabi's laws stated, "If the wife of a man is caught lying with another man, they [the authorities] shall bind them and throw them into the water." It is unlikely, however, that husbands and local authorities resorted to such extreme punishments in all cases of adultery when divorce was a ready and more civilized option. Most scholars think that such harsh laws were meant to scare wives and thereby discourage them from having adultery. A divorce had to be approved in court by a judge. The judge made sure that the woman had some means of support after leaving her husband's house, and to that end the court might order the husband to give her back the dowry. The man also might have to pay a fine. In Assyria, if a husband merely abandoned his wife and she had no living sons to support her, she was allowed to remarry after a waiting period of five years. If she did not wait the five years and had children by the second husband, the first husband could claim custody of those children.

   See also: laws and justice; women